What do you want out of life?
Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
What do you want to achieve?
These are NOT the questions I refer to in the title.
They are big questions. There are plenty of people out there who will tell you that it is vital to have answers for them. I don’t doubt they can be valuable. But to me, they seem so vague and distant. In all honesty, I don’t find them inspiring. A lot can change in 5 years. In 2015 if you had asked me about my goals I’d have said I want to run a trail marathon. I had run 2 half marathons. I got a hip injury, took some time off and didnt regain my momentum. I never achieved my goal and I don’t run much anymore.
For me, the real value of running was is the effect it had on my day to day life. I loved getting outside and exploring new trails, it boosted my mood, It encouraged me to eat well. Running gave me energy and a sense of accomplishment. Whether I could run 42.2 km is neither here nor there. I ran several times a week and that contributed significantly to my happiness.
That encouraged me to ask, What else makes me happy? What do I want to do more of? The questions I urge you to ask yourself and your partner if you have one are as follows:
What are things I want to include in my life daily or almost daily?
What things do I want to include in my life intermittently or when facilities allow?
I answered first
Daily -or at least weekly-
Chatting to family
Swim/ surf/ bodyboard
Intermittently -as frequently as circumstances allow-
Floristry/ flower arranging
Monkey Didn’t look at my answers and he wrote the following
Daily -or atleast weekly-
Making Tabby cum
Surf/ mountain bike
Chill the fuck out (don’t get so stressed)
Intermittently -as frquently as circumstances allow-
Go somewhere or do something that makes me go ‘Wow!’
Try new things (Food, sex position, activity)
How we plan to use this information?
I feel like this gives us permission to simplify our lives. If we own something that doesn’t have a place on the lists, were getting rid of it. Skateboards and games consoles goodbye. We can use the time and space for something listworthy.
Change how we earn money
Its helping us to identify how we could make a living. We plan to dramatically cut back our expenditure and live rent free so we won’t need to earn much (more about that in another post). Fortunately there are things on our lists that we could potentially use to make money, floristry, writing, gardening, photography and sex (I’m talking about making videos or doing webcam shows not actual, in-person whoring).
Learning about each other
We have learned more about each others priorities. We will be more aware if one of us is compromising for the sake of the other. I didn’t realise that Monkey wants to read more. Now I know, I can help him make the time to do so. We are also planning to take up yoga.
Identifying and creating space for the things that make us happy is giving direction to our larger plans.
What happened to the running? I replaced it with something else. We’re working towards a life where we can give plenty of time to everything on the list. But right now we dont have time for them all. Right now I’m into Weight lifting. Do I still have big goals? Kind of. I want to deadlift 110kg (double my body weight). I don’t know if I’ll achieve it and I dont care that much. I’m getting stronger, I lift several times a week and I love it. It’s contributing significantly to my happiness.