On Wednesday I was propositioned by an older chap. He came into the shop to order flowers for his wife for their 55th wedding anniversary. Pleasant enough bloke, if a little overbearing. Niceties continued beyond talk of his purchase. He told me that when he was younger he was a military man, he’d fought in Africa. He told me that his wife had many medical problems and that he had not touched a woman for twenty five years. I understand that human touch is valuable and I felt for him. He then confided that he had always wanted to marry a younger woman. His wife was 1 year younger than him. 79.
“I have a thing for little girls” He told me.
He was reminded of this whilst ‘looking down upon my chest’. I got the impression he meant petite women rather than ‘little girls’ though I barely noticed his distasteful terminology.
The next part is the good bit. He didn’t invite me out for a drink or offer to buy me lunch or ask for my phone number. He said…
“Would you accept £100 for a half hour hug”
I said no.
I said no.
Then we carried on discussing business and the delivery time of his flowers.
Above all else, I was impressed with how normal the interaction was. It wasn’t creepy. I said no and we moved on.
More interesting to me was the reaction of the people around me.
After he left. I asked one of my colleagues if she would think of me differently if I’d agreed to it.
“Of course I’d have set some rules, it would have to be in a hotel not his house and he would have to keep his clothes on” I joked. She was horrified.
“O my god! you actually considered it?” She replied.
I hadn’t even said yes and she was judging me.
I asked the same of another colleague and she said.
“No not really, I had a friend who was an escort”
Another colleague was freaked out that he was into ‘little girls’ above anything else.
When I phoned my husband at lunch break and told him I had been offered £200 for a hug, he asked…
“is that what your doing now?”
I erupted with laughter. Not sure if he was joking or not.
Note the wide variety of responses.
The thing to take away from this is that everyone has a different view regarding what is acceptable. Had I guessed my colleagues responses I would have been wrong on all counts. Some people may find hilarious what others may find abhorrent. What some may consider distasteful others may see a harmless way to make a living and there is no way to tell unless you ask.
So Here Is a rough guide.
How to ask a woman if she will accept money for sex.
(Please dont take this seriously)
After you find someone you would like to proposition. Start up a conversation being sure to mention your financial and past career success. (it helps if you approach her whilst in her place of work so she feels obliged to converse with you and cant run away)
Elicit pity. Physical contact with another human is a valuable thing. Let her know that it is lacking in your life and how much it used to mean to you. Try your best not to disrespect your wife in the process this way she will see you as a gentleman.
Let her know you find her attractive. Don’t mention her specifically but note a distinct physical characteristic such as her size, hair colour or accent and tell her that its a feature you find attractive.
The closer. DO NOT ever ask ‘will you accept money for sex’. Be specific about the money and vague about what is asked of her. This gives you room to negotiate what will happen in the encounter. It will also reduce the chance of you getting punched in the face. Using euphemisms such as ‘hug’ allows some degree of plausible deniability.
If she says no. Up your offer to your maximum budget. If she says no again say ‘ok’ and change the subject. You can ask her what her husband does for a living and if it pays well later in the conversation. (Yes that really did happen in my case) It will make her consider what the money would mean to her and her husband.
If she says yes. Give her your number and allow her to arrange the terms. Make sure she feels safe, pre-arrange boundaries. Make sure you are both clear with what will occur between you and never request more than what you agreed beforehand. If she changes her mind or at any point tells you she is uncomfortable with whats happening. Stop! Remember how lucky you are to have got to this point.
If she slaps you in the face. Apologize for offending her and leave.
If she calls the police. Remember that while prostitution is legal in the UK not everyone thinks it should be.
A CATI survey conducted in January 2008 on sex and exploitation revealed the following views on prostitution in the UK.
Paying for sex exploits women and should be a criminal offence: 44% of the total respondents agree
Paying for sex exploits women but should not be a criminal offence: 21% of the total respondents agree
Paying for sex does not exploit women and should not be a criminal offence: 17% of the total respondents agree
Paying for sex does not exploit women but should be a criminal offence: 8% of the total respondents agree
Check out the survey on sex and exploitation and you can figure out which demographics weigh most heavily. Quite fascinating. Based on that, you could probably affect your chances of a positive reaction. If you happen to be interested in an affluent 55-64 year olds, you are better placed to find someone who thinks paying for sex does not exploit women and should not be a criminal offence. However, they probably don’t need the money.
let me know what you think. Do you think prostitution should be illegal? Do you think it exploits women? How would you respond if someone offered you money for a ‘hug’?