Coming out as an adult worker can seem like a daunting task. Here’s how and why I told my parents.
A couple of years ago I was made redundant from my normal day job. Whilst it was a job I enjoyed very much, I decided it was a sign. I decided to seize the opportunity to do something different. I wanted to make adult videos and do some webcam modelling. I’d dabbled with this kind of work before but this was the time to commit. I wanted to work for myself, be creative and indulge my interest in sexuality full time.
I loved it! I found I was enjoying video making more than camming. I experience social anxiety from time to time which prevented me from keeping a regular cam schedule. Videos however, I loved and I still do. I would make several custom videos per day most days resulting in a reasonable income. When I wasn’t working, I was running or making jewellery to sell at craft fairs.
I can’t remember who I told first my Mum or my Dad. I got sick of being asked if I was doing OK, why wasn’t I applying for jobs or signing on. Having to pretend I was selling quite a lot of handicrafts was becoming a drag. We’d go out for dinner and they wouldn’t let me pay. I began feeling guilty about all this. I was lying to them and I couldn’t shift the feeling that they thought I was lazy. They must have thought that I sat at home all day doing crafts and feeling sorry for myself and wasting my megre resources dining out and buying pretty miniskirts. I love my parents and They are both nonjudgmental, liberal folk. So I decided to tell them.
I told my mum when we were on a camping holiday together. I was pretty nervous. I told her I kind of had a new job. She looked confused.
“What is it? When do you start?”
“Ive been doing it for a little while. Have you heard of webam modelling?”
“isn’t that entertaining perverts on the internet?”
“yep. I make and sell custom fetish videos too. Mostly telling dirty stories in my underwear”
I was excited about my new work and I wanted her to be pleased for me. After assuaging her concerns for my personal safety, she was very accepting. After I told her the per-minute pay rate for a webcam model, she said.
“maybe I should try it”
Great. I don’t know what I was so nervous about. I appreciate that not everybody has a Mum who is quite so accepting and I am so grateful that I do. I don’t tell her the details of my content but I like discussing how it enables flexibility in my lifestyle, how I get to do some acting (which I love), that Ive started a blog and I get to write about topics I am passionate about, that when I go traveling I can take my work with me and earn from anywhere in the world. The more I share my enthusiasm, the more comfortable she is with my choice of career.
My Dad is a different story. He has always had confidence in my decisions. I never thought for a minute that he would disapprove. He tried to pay for dinner one time and I put my foot down.
“I do have a job. I make fetish videos for perverts on the internet” (thanks for that phrase Mum I use it all the time now *)
He was shocked, but found it pretty funny. I described a couple of the more obscure and harmless fetishes I had encountered. He said that he thought I had been hiding something. He didn’t believe that I was able to pay the bills selling crafts.
So there we have it. I didn’t want my parents to think I was lazy so I told them the truth. I told them about my creative, liberating, engaging career that I really enjoy. I don’t know what they tell there friends but I don’t care about that. I am being true to myself and not hiding. The more we can be honest about working in the adult industry, the less stigma it will have in the future.
*Obviously I consider myself a ‘pervert on the internet’ too