Masturbation Month (Its still May right?)

Yesterday afternoon, when the sun was high in the sky, I had my lunch, a nap, a short masturbate and a long walk. All of which I thoroughly enjoyed. Would I have gleaned more enjoyment from my walk if I had missed out the pre-pedestrian play in my pants? I have no idea. let me know if you have any experience in this matter.

You didn’t think I could let the entire month of may go by without a mention of international masturbation month did you? A celebration of wankers!

Who decided we should celebrate masturbation during the month of May? It Was the toy company Good Vibrations. But before you get up in arms about it being a commercialized holiday invented by ‘hallmark’ to sell more ‘cards’ you should know what inspired it. In 1994 the US Surgeon General  Dr Jocelyn Elders  was forced to resign after expressing her expert opinion about the AIDS epidemic. She was asked directly what she thought about;

“a more explicit discussion and promotion of masturbation” As a means to limit the spread of the virus.

To which she replied;

(I am) “a very strong advocate” of teaching sex education in schools “at a very early age.”

“As per your specific question in regard to masturbation,” Dr. Elders said, “I think that is something that is a part of human sexuality and it’s a part of something that perhaps should be taught. But we’ve not even taught our children the very basics.”

This was just too much and she was forced to resign. It was the straw that broke the camels back. What were the other straws you ask? She had spoken of potentially distributing contraceptives in public schools and she was open to studying the legalization of drugs. She was a progressive woman, far ahead of her time.


Now a discussion on masturbation. In the space I occupy, getting oneself off is pretty much unanimously accepted as a good thing. Me and many other adult workers, video makers, cam girls phonesex operators make a living encouraging people to do it. Aside from that I found this enlightening information about masturbation on the NHS website:

“Apart from the pleasure it gives, masturbating can help you learn what you like and don’t like sexually. Men can also use masturbation to learn how to control their orgasms, while women can find out what helps them to achieve an orgasm. Many couples masturbate together and find it a very enjoyable part of their relationship. Other people don’t and that’s fine: it’s a personal choice”

Did you need a doctor to tell you that?

Despite this evidence in praise of bashing ones bishop, there is another view point (as with any subject) there is resistance from religious groups, though that’s not what interests me today. I speak of the no-fap movement. (Search it on youtube) The claims being that orgasms deplete serotonin leaving us with less available for release when it comes to other hedonic triggers such as eating, listening to music, the scent of a flower, and making love with a partner. The idea states that masturbation equates to forcing the release of the happy hormone serotonin. Avoiding doing so will lead to a deeper enjoyment of other fun things. 

I have a question. Me and Monkey masturbate together all the time. Does this count as making love? Sometimes we watch porn. Sometimes we gaze into each other’s eyes and sometimes I lie between his legs and lick his balls while he wanks his cock and I rub my pussy. Does this count as ‘fapping’? I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer here. Is it good? Is it bad? It certainly has no negative impact on my relationship and it definitely won’t make you go blind. I choose to embrace this simple pleasure. Grasp it with both hands if you will. 

Yesterday afternoon, when the sun was high in the sky, I had my lunch, a nap, a short masturbate and a long walk. All of which I thoroughly enjoyed. Would I have gleaned more enjoyment from my walk if I had missed out the pre-pedestrian play in my pants? I have no idea. let me know if you have any experience in this matter. I dont! I dont usually go more than a couple of days without giving myself an intimate massage.

I made a video as you may have guessed by the picture at the top of the post and if you fancy a wank to it You can find In Tents Afternoon on my ManyVids .Tell me how it goes! And if you have any experience with wank abstinence Id be very curious to hear about it!

Fucking in Tents

Mid afternoon on a weekday and the only thing separating our sex from passing outdoorsfolk was a couple of thin fabric layers. We caressed each other. My hands trailed over his chest and shoulders feeling his strength. My attention was drawn to his boxers.

I’m staring out of the window, drinking a gin and tonic, thinking about how great our holiday was. Beer would be more appropriate. Beer is what you drink when camping right? I do at least. Only a couple. There’s nothing worse than needing a wee in the night on a camping trip. For me it goes something like this.

Its dark. The parts of my body that are not under the duvet are cold (yes we bring a duvet camping). My breath condenses and adds vapor to the already wet microclimate of our little nylon bubble. Cold. I need to piss.
‘But your so cozy’ says the other me
‘Can’t you wait till morning?’
No I can’t I won’t be able to relax
‘I’m sure you could. The toilet block is so far away. Putting your shoes and coat on won’t be very relaxing either. Just stay here’
Shut up other me. I don’t want to fall asleep and piss myself. (Its never happened before but you never know)
‘You could go in a bush but once you’re out of the tent you might as well go to the toilet block and that’s sooo far away and its cold and you might as well just stay here. If you get up you will wake up monkey. You’ll probably need to pee again later, if you wait you will only need to go once’
I spend about half an hour debating with myself whether or not to get up and take a piss. I’m just about to start writing a list of pros and cons when I realize all this mental noise is keeping me awake. If I just get up and face the cold, I can shut up and go back to sleep.

Anyway I digress. That was the night time. The day time was beautiful, We went for long walks. We turned off our phones. We did gymnastics together. Specifically, Monkey taught me some yoga poses and I laughed at him attempting a cartwheel. There was time to breathe and think and appreciate what is important.

On the Thursday we went into London. I met some of monkeys relatives for the first time. They were so nice.

On the Wednesday we had sex in the tent and filmed it. Our sweaty, fabric love-cabin. It was great! We kissed sensually and took off each others clothes. In the cramped space the help was appreciated. As he unbuttoned my jeans and we tugged them down there was a tangible sense of mischief between us. We could hear hikers walking past on the path. Mid afternoon on a weekday and the only thing separating our sex from passing outdoorsfolk was a couple of thin fabric layers. We caressed each other. My hands trailed over his chest and shoulders feeling his strength. My attention was drawn to his boxers. I explored the contents with my hands and drew my face near to his hardening cock. I love the feel of it against my face. I especially love to rub my cheek against it with the soft jersey fabric between my skin and his. I like to feel it getting really hard and twitch a little. I pulled the elastic waistband causing his cock to spring out at me. Then I enjoyed caressing its length with my lips and cheeks and forehead keeping my mouth closed until it becomes too much for us both and I wrap my lips around it hungrily.

The rest of it, I don’t clearly recall. I know I came really hard. I know that we used our hands and mouths. And I know, the camera stopped recording part way through and there is a missing minute or so of footage. It just happens to be the part where I have an explosive and cathartic orgasm. You’ll just have to imagine that part. The rest you will be able to see at Makelovenotporn once we put it up. I’ll keep you posted when that will be.
I did find some amusement in the fact that our tent video, like a conventional porno, was missing a genuine female orgasm. Though for a different reason obviously.

The adventure continues. Today a campsite in Hampshire. Tomorrow, Hawaii.