Masturbation Month (Its still May right?)

Yesterday afternoon, when the sun was high in the sky, I had my lunch, a nap, a short masturbate and a long walk. All of which I thoroughly enjoyed. Would I have gleaned more enjoyment from my walk if I had missed out the pre-pedestrian play in my pants? I have no idea. let me know if you have any experience in this matter.

You didn’t think I could let the entire month of may go by without a mention of international masturbation month did you? A celebration of wankers!

Who decided we should celebrate masturbation during the month of May? It Was the toy company Good Vibrations. But before you get up in arms about it being a commercialized holiday invented by ‘hallmark’ to sell more ‘cards’ you should know what inspired it. In 1994 the US Surgeon General  Dr Jocelyn Elders  was forced to resign after expressing her expert opinion about the AIDS epidemic. She was asked directly what she thought about;

“a more explicit discussion and promotion of masturbation” As a means to limit the spread of the virus.

To which she replied;

(I am) “a very strong advocate” of teaching sex education in schools “at a very early age.”

“As per your specific question in regard to masturbation,” Dr. Elders said, “I think that is something that is a part of human sexuality and it’s a part of something that perhaps should be taught. But we’ve not even taught our children the very basics.”

This was just too much and she was forced to resign. It was the straw that broke the camels back. What were the other straws you ask? She had spoken of potentially distributing contraceptives in public schools and she was open to studying the legalization of drugs. She was a progressive woman, far ahead of her time.

Now a discussion on masturbation. In the space I occupy, getting oneself off is pretty much unanimously accepted as a good thing. Me and many other adult workers, video makers, cam girls phonesex operators make a living encouraging people to do it. Aside from that I found this enlightening information about masturbation on the NHS website:

“Apart from the pleasure it gives, masturbating can help you learn what you like and don’t like sexually. Men can also use masturbation to learn how to control their orgasms, while women can find out what helps them to achieve an orgasm. Many couples masturbate together and find it a very enjoyable part of their relationship. Other people don’t and that’s fine: it’s a personal choice”

Did you need a doctor to tell you that?

Despite this evidence in praise of bashing ones bishop, there is another view point (as with any subject) there is resistance from religious groups, though that’s not what interests me today. I speak of the no-fap movement. (Search it on youtube) The claims being that orgasms deplete serotonin leaving us with less available for release when it comes to other hedonic triggers such as eating, listening to music, the scent of a flower, and making love with a partner. The idea states that masturbation equates to forcing the release of the happy hormone serotonin. Avoiding doing so will lead to a deeper enjoyment of other fun things. 

I have a question. Me and Monkey masturbate together all the time. Does this count as making love? Sometimes we watch porn. Sometimes we gaze into each other’s eyes and sometimes I lie between his legs and lick his balls while he wanks his cock and I rub my pussy. Does this count as ‘fapping’? I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer here. Is it good? Is it bad? It certainly has no negative impact on my relationship and it definitely won’t make you go blind. I choose to embrace this simple pleasure. Grasp it with both hands if you will. 

Yesterday afternoon, when the sun was high in the sky, I had my lunch, a nap, a short masturbate and a long walk. All of which I thoroughly enjoyed. Would I have gleaned more enjoyment from my walk if I had missed out the pre-pedestrian play in my pants? I have no idea. let me know if you have any experience in this matter. I dont! I dont usually go more than a couple of days without giving myself an intimate massage.

I made a video as you may have guessed by the picture at the top of the post and if you fancy a wank to it You can find In Tents Afternoon on my ManyVids .Tell me how it goes! And if you have any experience with wank abstinence Id be very curious to hear about it!

Fucking in Tents

Mid afternoon on a weekday and the only thing separating our sex from passing outdoorsfolk was a couple of thin fabric layers. We caressed each other. My hands trailed over his chest and shoulders feeling his strength. My attention was drawn to his boxers.

I’m staring out of the window, drinking a gin and tonic, thinking about how great our holiday was. Beer would be more appropriate. Beer is what you drink when camping right? I do at least. Only a couple. There’s nothing worse than needing a wee in the night on a camping trip. For me it goes something like this.

Its dark. The parts of my body that are not under the duvet are cold (yes we bring a duvet camping). My breath condenses and adds vapor to the already wet microclimate of our little nylon bubble. Cold. I need to piss.
‘But your so cozy’ says the other me
‘Can’t you wait till morning?’
No I can’t I won’t be able to relax
‘I’m sure you could. The toilet block is so far away. Putting your shoes and coat on won’t be very relaxing either. Just stay here’
Shut up other me. I don’t want to fall asleep and piss myself. (Its never happened before but you never know)
‘You could go in a bush but once you’re out of the tent you might as well go to the toilet block and that’s sooo far away and its cold and you might as well just stay here. If you get up you will wake up monkey. You’ll probably need to pee again later, if you wait you will only need to go once’
I spend about half an hour debating with myself whether or not to get up and take a piss. I’m just about to start writing a list of pros and cons when I realize all this mental noise is keeping me awake. If I just get up and face the cold, I can shut up and go back to sleep.

Anyway I digress. That was the night time. The day time was beautiful, We went for long walks. We turned off our phones. We did gymnastics together. Specifically, Monkey taught me some yoga poses and I laughed at him attempting a cartwheel. There was time to breathe and think and appreciate what is important.

On the Thursday we went into London. I met some of monkeys relatives for the first time. They were so nice.

On the Wednesday we had sex in the tent and filmed it. Our sweaty, fabric love-cabin. It was great! We kissed sensually and took off each others clothes. In the cramped space the help was appreciated. As he unbuttoned my jeans and we tugged them down there was a tangible sense of mischief between us. We could hear hikers walking past on the path. Mid afternoon on a weekday and the only thing separating our sex from passing outdoorsfolk was a couple of thin fabric layers. We caressed each other. My hands trailed over his chest and shoulders feeling his strength. My attention was drawn to his boxers. I explored the contents with my hands and drew my face near to his hardening cock. I love the feel of it against my face. I especially love to rub my cheek against it with the soft jersey fabric between my skin and his. I like to feel it getting really hard and twitch a little. I pulled the elastic waistband causing his cock to spring out at me. Then I enjoyed caressing its length with my lips and cheeks and forehead keeping my mouth closed until it becomes too much for us both and I wrap my lips around it hungrily.

The rest of it, I don’t clearly recall. I know I came really hard. I know that we used our hands and mouths. And I know, the camera stopped recording part way through and there is a missing minute or so of footage. It just happens to be the part where I have an explosive and cathartic orgasm. You’ll just have to imagine that part. The rest you will be able to see at Makelovenotporn once we put it up. I’ll keep you posted when that will be.
I did find some amusement in the fact that our tent video, like a conventional porno, was missing a genuine female orgasm. Though for a different reason obviously.

The adventure continues. Today a campsite in Hampshire. Tomorrow, Hawaii.

Jerk Off Instruction: Competition Winner

Last week I appealed to you for some filth I Want Your Jerk Off Instruction Script and I couldn’t be happier with what you came up with. I got home from a wonderful holiday on Saturday. A holiday of walks in the woods, looking at ponies and making a sex video in the tent (more about that in my next post) to find an awesome jerk off instruction script for me to make into a ManyVids video. Its filthy. I mean it. Here’s a taster for you.

“Hello, my name is Tabby.”

“I’ve been summoned by your doctor because apparently you’ve been in this room for quite some time.”

“She thought that perhaps I could be of assistance.”

“Yes, I work right here in the hospital; I’m a Sperm Extraction Specialist.”

“It’s my job to work closely with you today to see that we get a good healthy sperm sample for the doctor.”

Can you guess where this goes? I bet you can’t. The author, Blue Rondo, has given me three different endings to choose from!

I’m looking forward to filming this. Its going to be around 10 minutes long. Its a lot of

to learn and I’m determined to do it justice! Stay tuned for updates. I’ll let you know when its ready to go up on ManyVids. I’ll probably release a snippet here and there beforehand too.

Thanks again Blue Rondo You have totally earned your copy of this video!


Webcam modeling and MLNP

I wrote this blog post for MLNP (Make Love not Porn) in 2014. It talks about how my experience making videos for and otherwise being involved in the social sex revolution has helped me bring together my two personas, the cam-girl, on demand, adult entertainer and the florist, wife, highly sensitive, complex strong young woman. It has helped me feel more whole.

I first discovered webcam modelling about 4 years ago. My now husband, Monkey, introduced me to it. Heres a little background information about us. We met in a small, isolated community where everyone knows each other by name, gossip spreads rapidly and everyone knows each others business. Or so I thought. It can get lonely in the countryside but thanks to the wonders of the internet, all manner of social and sexual interactions are still available to us and monkey had been indulging in camsites and chatrooms for quite some time before I came on the scene. As we became closer, Monkey told me about these online experiences and all of a sudden the world felt so much smaller. I thought it was awesome.

Some readers will know what webcam modelling is, for those who don’t, it can be many things to many people but heres a basic rundown. Webcam Modelling is an interactive adult entertainment experience. The customer pays the model, usually by the minute, And the model helps the customer get off by talking and performing on her webcam from home. Sometimes the customer will want to see a models feet or underwear or various body parts. Sometimes the customer wants to discuss sexy fantasies or role play, Occasionally the customer will just want some company and a friendly chat, though more often than not (in my case) the customer wants a sexy lady to chat with and masturbate with.

I am not an exhibitionist, being watched does not get me off. But I really enjoy getting other people off and providing a good service. I think you might be able to see my personal dilemma beginning to emerge. Yes I do fake it, often but not always. I admit I am so busy trying to look pretty and read subtle cues from my customer that I struggle to get into it enough to have an orgasm. It can take me 20 minutes to cum even without trying to look pretty. My priority is to please my customers, what if they only want to spend 10 or 15 minutes with me? I draw on my my plentiful experience of actual orgasms and I present my best interpretation on demand.

In porn movies everyone knows the girls fake it. Its porn. But cam girls can be a grey area. Is it porn? I would love to be able to say yes cam modelling is all porn and it should be treated as such but its not that simple. Some models provide pure performance. Some models are true exhibitionists. For some its a mixture. But as far as I can tell, we all try to be seen as genuine.

Are we harmlessly indulging someones fantasy or perpetuating a lie that will only backfire on us. I love the slogan Pro sex pro porn pro knowing the difference but I’m right in the middle of it and I still struggle to know the difference sometimes.

Many cam models, myself included, make sexy videos to sell. The point of me writing this was to discuss how my MLNP videos differ from the ones I make as a cam girl. I got a little side tracked. Anyway here goes. When making a video as a cam girl my priority is to look sexy. When making a video for Monkey and Me and MLNP my priority is to feel sexy. If I look sexy too, that’s great, if not, never mind you can still see it. After having a positive response to my procrasturbation video, I have found it really gratifying to know people are enjoying the video as It expresses part of my sexuality. It expresses a part of me. My cam girl videos express the customers sexuality more than my own. As many people of note have said ‘Its better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for something you are not’ In my case It is better to be masturbated over for what you are than masturbated over for what you are not. (Though I’m still happy with either)

Find more musings from MLNP Stars on the MLNP Blog.

Make Love not Porn

During the Summer of 2012 I was watering the tomatoes in the garden listening to a podcast.

A British accent. A mature, successful woman who was developing a web based business to educate about sex by selling videos of normal people having normal sex. This was Cindy Gallop and her idea resonated with me on many levels.

First of all I was working part time as a cam model so making money from sex was already part of my life (more on this in another post). Secondly. I have been affected by the influence of hardcore porn. The idea of being able to take positive steps to neutralize these impacts was a concept I wanted to support.

Cindy did a Ted talk in 2009 to unveil her website Make Love not Porn. in which she talks about sex education and the influence hardcore pornography has on our culture. She illustrates the talk with an anecdote about a younger lover to whom she says ‘no thanks I would much rather you didn’t cum on my face’. She then goes on to express concern for ..

“the young girl who’s boyfriend wants to cum on her face. She does not want him to cum on her face but hardcore porn has taught her that all men love cumming on women’s faces, all women love having their faces cum on and therefore she must let him cum on her face and pretend to like it”.

Watch it! Its brilliant. The ripples of shock from the audience are palpable. There is no point in me telling you all of the important points and the inspiring balance of humor and earnestness that she demonstrates when you could just go on TED Talks Youtube channel and see it for your self. Cindy Gallop TED Talk

Anyway. Hypothetical girl she mentions. That’s me. Not with specific regard to cum on the face. I do actually enjoy that. However, I have faked a lot of orgasms. With various partners. When I was younger. I kept thinking I must be doing something wrong, why is this not working. I hadn’t even watched a lot of porn but somehow, subtle, pervasive, influences had crept into my consciousness. That paired with the fact that I am a chronic people-pleaser lead me to fake orgasms under the belief that It would make my partner happy. I’d think ‘one day It’ll just click and I’ll be able to cum during sex too’ but it didn’t. It took a long time to realize that it wasn’t ‘just going to click’. I had been denying myself the opertunity to have orgasms with a partner by avoiding communicating properly. Because it felt awkward and uncomfortable to talk about.

This story is not unique. Ive read various statistics and learned that 20-25% of women do not consistently orgasm during intercourse. If my partners and I had known that growing up, things would have been different. If I had more experience talking about sex and hearing other people talk about it in a frank and open manner. Things would probably have been different.

That’s what Make Love not Porn, MLNP is about. There are videos of all kinds of people having all kinds of sex. You can find My husband and I on there. (You will notice that when I cum there is nearly always a hand involved). The videos are not about helping the viewer get off, its about recording an honest look into peoples sex lives  (many of them do happen to be extremely hot but that is a secondary factor). If my peers and I had access to this kind of material instead of hardcore porn. Who knows how we would be different. I bet we’d be much more secure individuals. At the very least our sex lives would be so much better.

I like porn. This is not a vendetta against it. I watch porn by myself and with my husband I have made a living from porn and if I needed to, I’d happily do so again. But it needs to be made clearer to young people that it is entertainment. Porn is not real!

Like the tag line from MLNP says

We are ‘Pro-sex, pro-porn and pro knowing the difference’

Fuck it! Lets go somewhere!

We want the same things out of life. Our urges for travel, adventure and sex are a pretty good match.

It started with a feeling. A familiar feeling that I couldn’t quite place. for progress, change, growth. Something like that.
We were going to buy a house. Seriously considering it. Investing in our future together. We were going to start a business. Arial videography. I love making videos. Turns out you can’t get a mortgage if your newly self employed. So we would have to stay in our current jobs and that didn’t feel right for either of us. These solutions weren’t adding up to a change at all.

Then I put my finger on it. The niggling feeling. Its the same as when I left my home town (and job and life). I went to live on a little island. When people asked me why, the best answer I could give was that I wanted to live by the sea. It was where I met Monkey. Its where we got married. Following that impulse was the best decision I’ve ever made.

It was the same as the feeling we both shared when we decided to go to New Zealand after our wedding. For a year, maybe more, maybe we would never come back. Quite a honeymoon.

Unlike our other plans (house, business, ect) the plans that are driven by this urge, they stick. They come with a sense of relief at finally finding the right answer.

We have a good life here in England. We live in a nice flat. We have jobs that pay more than minimum wage, 4 weeks annual holiday and usually we get 2 days off a week. We have nice things. Bikes, surfboards but not enough time or energy to use them. There is too much life to fit into a schedule like this.

That’s why we have decided to set our priorities straight. Live life in our own way putting importance and time into the things that mean a lot to us. I want to get better at writing, have lots of great sex, do some photography, swim in open water, surf, run, meet new people, hike in the mountains. We want to travel and we want to play a proper part in the social sex revolution.

I want to go and live by the sea again. I feel so privileged that Monkey does too. That’s a big part of why we are good together. We want the same things out of life. Our urges for travel, adventure and sex are a pretty good match.

Hence the endless honeymoon. It started with our trip to NZ. We have tried settling down a few times but it hasn’t stuck.

I’m writing this on my first day off in nine days, thinking of all the other ways I could be using my time. Laundry, vacuuming, I could be at the gym or on my bike. So many mundane things to fill my day with. But fuck it. I want adventure. I’ll be planing our trip to Hawaii.